By Wayne Connell, Founder and President of the Invisible Disabilities Association
Have you ever seen someone get out of a car parked in a space reserved for people with disabilities who did not LOOK like he or she had a disability? Did it make you feel very uncomfortable or even upset? Did you let them know of your disapproval by giving them a dirty look or yelling at them?
Well, you are not alone. Many people are very disturbed by the sight of a seemingly mobile person taking the space of someone who is truly in need of it. After all, we want to protect the rights of people for whom these spaces are reserved!
However, in our efforts to help those who deserve these parking spaces, we actually may be hurting someone who has a legal right and a legitimate need to park there. How can this be true, you ask? Isn’t it obvious who does and who does not have a disability?
Let me share the following story about my wife, Sherri.
It was a weekend afternoon, and Sherri wanted to head to the department store to pick up some items. She knew that driving would be tough enough, but she felt spending time with her niece would be worth the difficulty of the trip.
Sherri and her niece pulled into the store parking lot, and she drove around until she found an accessible spot near the front. Sherri pulled out her accessible placard and placed it on the back of the mirror. She then proceeded into the store with her niece to shop.
Once inside, they looked for an electric motorized cart. They located one and proceeded around the store. Of course, being in her late twenties and looking much younger, Sherri would elicit stares from people wondering why she was using the cart. Some even wondered out loud, especially children, who would point and ask, “Mommy, what’s wrong with her?”
Why anyone would ride one of the store scooters unless they really needed it is beyond me. Sherri’s scooter at home goes 8 miles an hour and has head lights, tail lights and a headrest. The mall carts crawl along slowly, and everyone stares at you.
Sherri and her niece finished up their shopping and returned to their car. Sherri started the car and looked in her rearview mirror and noticed a police car with its lights flashing right behind her, blocking her in. There was an immediate knock on her window. Startled, she rolled down her window and an officer stated that she was not allowed to park there, because she was “not handicapped.”
Sherri said that the placard was hers and she handed the officer her license, her placard registration and a multiple sclerosis (MS) card. Sherri mentioned that she had the right to park there, because she was disabled with MS and had gotten approval from her doctor and the motor vehicle department.
The officer replied, “I don’t care how many multiple problems you have, you can’t park there. I saw you walk inside and back to the car, and you looked fine to me.”
After about 10 minutes of trying to explain her disability to the officer, Sherri started to get quite frustrated. She then asked very politely for the officer’s name and badge number, and if he would please move his car. Of course, her nervous system started to work overtime and her brain went into fight or flight mode. Luckily for the officer, he said he would move his car. Then he stated, “See those people over in that Cadillac, they are not handicapped either.”
The conclusion of the story is that the officer was eventually reprimanded for the way he was hassling people who had the legitimate right to park in accessible parking.
The general qualifications for accessible parking spaces include people using wheelchairs, walkers, crutches, canes and assist dogs. Nonetheless, most of us do not realize they also include certain impaired functions of the heart or lungs, as well as conditions which are worsened by walking a certain distance.
People with a variety of disabilities may qualify to park in these spots. Moreover, not all impairments are readily evident to the onlooker. Because of this, we refer to conditions which cause debilitating symptoms that are not so apparent from the outside as “invisible disabilities.”
There are millions of people who are forced to contend with serious illnesses, injuries and circumstances which have left them with mountains to climb every time they take a step. Many people do not realize individuals can have hindrances on the inside that may not be visible on the outside. Their restrictions may not be conspicuous at a glance, but their pain, limitations and inability to function as others do can be debilitating.
What may seem easy to you may seem like a 14,000 foot hurdle to them. Many even collapse in stores, become very dizzy and weak or even black-out. Being able to park close to the entrance of a building when they need to allows them to run an errand they otherwise would not have been able to conquer.
The purpose of accessible spaces is to assist those with many types of disabilities and health conditions. For those with various types of limitations, the spots help make it possible for them to shop or visit the doctor.
How do you know who can park in an accessible space and who cannot? Look for a temporary or permanent placard in the front window or a disabled license plate. These items are received after an application, which is completed by a patient’s doctor, is approved by the Department of Motor Vehicles (DMV).
Each state’s DMV has specific guidelines and requirements the person must meet in order to receive a placard or license plate. Most states take into consideration the impairments due to certain conditions, as well as the implications stemming from aggravations of these conditions. Therefore, if a person is issued a license and is displaying it, then they have the legal, medical right to park there.
The following are a few assumptions regarding accessible parking:
- Assumption 1 – Drivers can simply request a placard from the DMV without any proof or documentation.
Drivers cannot request an accessible plate or placard without a form completed by a licensed physician and with their verifiable license number.
- Assumption 2 – Doctors are irresponsibly filling out forms for patients.
Doctors have no personal gain by doing so.
- Assumption 3 – Drivers are borrowing a placard from a relative.
Many people believe this happens often, but do not personally know anyone doing so. At any rate, we cannot assume someone is using a placard that does not belong to them, because they do not “look” like they have a disability.
If someone personally knows an individual who has stolen or borrowed a placard and are using it illegally, he or she can file a complaint with the DMV. If you have further concerns with the application and qualification process, consider using the legislative process to address them, rather than confronting individuals in a parking lot.
Chances are the person displaying a placard or plate is in fact parked legally and needs the space for physical and/or medical reasons. As you can imagine, it is difficult enough to live with such illnesses, injuries and disabilities that wreak havoc in one’s life without being harassed every time one needs to go shopping or to the doctor. Finally, if a person is displaying a license to park in an accessible parking space, try offering a hand, instead of a visual judgment. After all…the people you are graciously intending to defend may be standing right in front of you!
Wayne Connell, the founder and president of the Invisible Disabilities Association (IDA), established the organization in 1997 out of the desire to educate friends and family about his wife’s debilitating illness. Soon afterwards, people around the globe began sending emails sharing how IDA had changed their relationships with their loved ones. He is co-author of the booklet, “But You LOOK Good, How to Encourage and Understand People Living with Illness and Pain.” Wayne’s background fueled his passion for helping people living with illness, pain and disability. His experience includes that of a professional, multitasking husband caregiver with an extensive background in management, media and technology. This man on a mission quickly launched IDA into a world-wide outreach for millions living with invisible disabilities.
As great as your other posts
. Thank you for putting it up. “As experience widens, one begins to see how much upon a level all human things are.” – Joseph Farrell.
I have mental and intellectual disabilities, and I don’t drive because I can’t afford a car. If I did, however, I wouldn’t get a placard because I don’t need it and need the exercise. If I was disabled in body, then I would use the ADA bus system. I have a friend who is disabled by a bad back and he doesn’t NEED it either because he can walk, but he likes having it and does qualify for it. What am I saying? I am not sure. I just think everyone should mind their own business and not judge your neighbor and if they are lucky enough to get a disabled placard so they get to park closer, then get over it – thou shalt not covert thy neighbor’s placard or whatever. People are such haters.
I do not feel the need to explain the nature of my disability to anyone who doubts that it even exists. If someone has a problem with me parking in the handicapped space, please call the police. It is what I do if I see someone taking a space without a placard or plate. I must say that the most comments and evil eyes I have gotten have come from others with a placard themselves. What is “handicapped looking enough” to receive a placard anyway?
I don’t have a problem with anyone using the mobile cart, you never know what problems they might have. My problem is with people that don’t have handicapped plates or a plaquard that park in a handicapped zone and stay in the car running the motor. I think if the police would give out more fines for this it might put a stop to these non-handicapped people parking there.
Great that you covered this topic; ignorance is not dead.
My wife is in a wheelchair & I have mobility issues, too. It has been very hard to believe that SOME people need to park in the handicap parking spaces. & while I still believe there is abuse; invisible disability is certainly a factor.
I can walk normally briefly, but after a long distance; I’m lucky to walk at all!
Thanks for bringing to light other issues, such as breathing, etc.
Having a spouse with invisible disabilities has raised my level of awareness and empathy for others. Our society often judges prematurely based on outward appearances. This makes the IDA message even more important. Its imperative we educate our society to look beyond what they see and realize there are afflictions people have that are invisible. When I see a person in a handicapped spot with a sticker, I know they are struggling every day to greet life. I am glad our government has a process to allow people some minor relief for everyday hassles by providing them the ability to park in just a little bit closer. For the rest of us….think positive. We are burning a few more calories walking into the store. Be thankful for our ability to do it.
As someone with an invisible disease known as dysautonomia, I personally have been verbally attacked in front of my children for parking in a handicap spot and using my placcard. I don’t use my handicap placcard often – I only use it when I’m having off days. I have a right to use it – it no one’s business. Yes, I’m young and I look perfectly healthy, but I’m not, so people need to stop judging me.
Thanks for the informative article. I feel for your wife. My opinion about doubters is – I know that I need to have a handicapped spot, that’s all that matters. They can give me looks all they want and I dare them to call the police.
Thank you – it is all about education. That is why I teach “Disability Etiquette” workshops for local businesses. I work at a Center for Independent Living in Grants Pass, Oregon and one of my jobs is an ADA Consultant. I have invisible disabilities, but some are becoming more visible all the time. Thanks again for helping to get the correct information out to the public.
I too have had this problem. I’m 34 and look 17 and healthy. But that’s because you can’t see my TBI and artificial heart.
Hi Wayne,
GREAT article.
I had a disability tag for a few years and gave it up because people were staring at me, too. Then when I had lost my car awhile ago because I could not remember where I had parked it, I had my doctor reorder it for me.
Now I have a TBI and that’s why I had it re-done, primarily for the reason that I cannot find my car. I had it before because I have a right left claw-toe deformity that happened when I was trapped in a fire 32 years ago and was not properly turned while I lay unconscious for a week in the hospital and the pain that I had endured for years because of my big toe wanting to cross over to my index toe, which I them had an operation on to relieve some of this. However, I now have a dropped toe problem and when I had asked the doctor why he did not cut the correct neural pathway, he replied, “If I did, you would not be able to walk.”
So that is my story..
I am not embarrassed when people look at me “walking” without a cane only a bit of a limp or a gait problem. I would be honored if you would be my guest on one of my two weekly blog talk radio shows to talk about this subject.
Please let me know.
LOVE,
FF
Frank,
Thank you for sharing your story. It is sad to me when people who live life daily with illness, pain and disability and because of prejudice, give up on the help they need such as parking closer to an establishment.
I had an able bodied person once point out to me that he wished those who qualified for accessible parking would park in the accessible spots especially when a lot is full. Since he can’t park in an accessible space he feels his able bodied spot is taken. Something to think about.
I can be reached me through the contact page on InvisibleDisabilities.org for interviews and questions.
Wayne Connell
Thank you!
I would have ripped that police officer a new *** by emailing the Mayor, Attorney General, Police Chief and DMV.
I have seen older people move better than me. You can’t judge a book by its cover. Once he saw the proof, he should have apologized and moved on.
I’ve had this problem before myself, i’m disabled and have disabled plate on my car, but sometimes people say I’m borrowing someone else’s car.
I can sympathize with the woman in this article. I, too, have an invisible disability. I have not had anyone to actually say anything to me when parking in a handicapped parking space, but the looks are very questionable. I am appalled that a police officer would take it upon himself to judge and decide that this woman did not qualify for handicapped parking.
I totally agree with the frustration when use of accessible parking is legal and warranted, and people question it.
I think, though, it would be a big help if people with placards or plates would stop abusing them. It is not a perk for the entire family to use the reserved parking spaces when the person with the disability is not with them, not being picked up or dropped off, etc. No, your grandchildren cannot use your placard or take advantage of your plates. And yes, it happens frequently.
If you, the person with the disability, are going to wait in the car, and you can get another space reasonably nearby, then you shouldn’t take the reserved space.
Another thing, very often I see a person with a placard/plate take the designated spot when the spot right next to it is vacant. Come on! Take the other space and leave the designated space for the next person who comes along. The equally good space may not be empty then. Except in places where there are huge numbers of designated spaces, I don’t think you should ever take one of them just because you have the right. If there are other spaces that would do, take one of those. Of course, is you need van accessibility, then you need the space with van accessibility.
Which brings me to another point. If your disability means that you cannot steer your car well enough to park your car within the lines, you should not be driving. This is especially a problem when people park so badly that they make the neighboring van accessible space inaccessible by parking on the striped no parking section.
I once had an argument with a woman with an invisible disability who chose to park entirely in a non-space — the blue striped area between van accessible spaces. She thought my complaint was that I thought she didn’t “deserve” the space. Far from it. But she had just rendered two van accessible spaces inaccessible. Van accessible spaces are usually few in number and should be left for the people who need them whenever possible.
(And yes, you can’t always tell by looking who needs a van accessible space. You may not have a wheelchair, for example, but need space to maneuver your walker next to a wide open door, or just open the door wide without any assistive devices. But you know when you don’t need it.)
About assumptions 2 and 3. Actually, I do know people who feel entitled to use placards as a reward for sometimes providing transportation for someone who does need the designated parking space. In fact, I know people who have continued to use the placards after the person has died. And I’m reasonably sure that all the young folks who bound out of “grandma cars” with placards do not have the kinds of disabilities that would make them eligible in their own right.
I also know one physician who routinely gives completed paperwork for placards to every patient over 75. Maybe there’s a financial incentive, maybe not. But I think this doc has a misguided idea that she is doing a good thing. I suspect she is not the only one.
I have COPD, and my wife has COPD. Neither one of use can walk more than a few steps before we have to stop to catch our breath. Walking, shopping, or any major physical activities, absolutely destroy our resolve, yet we persist. I get the same looks at the stores, and the same attitudes from people. I told a lady one day that until she walked a mile in my shoes, she had no idea what I was going through.
I usually give them the “eye” while I look for a decal. The “eye” goes away if I find the decal.
I am disabled (Cardiomyopathy), the officer did go overboard. However, I see every shopping day employees and the very young with these stickers. The answer, if I could ever get it done, is the use of only plates and a drivers license that shows your reason for the plate!
As a 2x combat veteran of Iraq, I have lots of aches and pains. I had a vehicle wreck in Iraq (101st ABN DIV),and can’t feel my feet, and had a total knee replacement 3 years ago. I am 6’8″ tall, weigh 300, stand tall because of back pain. I use my Disabled Veteran plate to park, but I hardly look disabled if you saw me…truly looks are deceiving…
Thanks.
I have had a similar situation, I am a guardian of an individual with Autism and many behavioral challenges that making walking distances difficult and very dangerous due to safety concerns. When attempting to encourage the individual to leave the vehicle (while parked in a disabled parking spot w/ placard) someone walked by and preceded to yell at me and threaten to call the police. I attempted to explain, but did not want give medical information of why (it was just my luck that individual was an angel that day). All I could do is to advise the person yelling to call the police as I needed to get to an appointment. I love the fact that people are protective of others, just try to ask yourself “this is what I see, but maybe it could be?”
I have invisible disabilities and I can relate. It is very frustrating to explain your situation to people who don’t care and have no compassion either. Thank you for the article.
My mom has a disabled parking placard and while I would never use it if she were not with me. I personally know at least a few people who are able-bodied and would routinely “borrow” parking placards from family relatives so they could park close to the mall, etc.
Thank you so much for speaking out for those of us with “Invisible Disabilities”. I have diabetic neuropathy in my feet and have a placard. Sometimes I get quizzicle or mean looks from folks. I just go on about my business because I know I am entitled to have it. My doctor completed a form which I took to the DMV, paid the fee, and received my placard.
Your Invisible Disabilities website is very informative. I wish all people would take time to read about Invisible Disabilities.
Keep up the good work!
Thanks for writing this piece, Wayne. It’s a much-needed reminder/clarifier. I’m guilty of the guessing-blaming game. Often – as one of the lucky wheelchair users with good upper body strength – I’ve not needed the convenient disabled parking space, but I admit to having looked at folks suspiciously without. I remember a time when I saw a young fella hop out of a jacked up Ford p-u. I stopped rolling down the sidewalk and just stared….. Not good.
I’m especially appreciative of your mentioning legislation. There is some need for distinguishing mobility impairment from some other disabilities. Some persons -like your wife – need the proximity. Others don’t. I favor a different placard for disability that is not mobility-related. Certainly, the costs associated with expediting such legislation may be great, even prohibitive. But, I think it’s worth a look.
Thanks again for your blog.
Mr. Connell,
I am sure that your blog entry was very well intended. I am sure that your organization is a boon to many, many people. And, I am really sorry to hear that your wife was forced to take the short end of the stick. But, I think that you are not really in touch with everyday life at the DMV or the sociology of human interaction out on the Walmart parking lot.
First of all, the DMV office sees handicaped tags and license plates as an interruption of their work day and purely an inconvenience. Handicapped tags are a parking problem and not a driving problem. The staff at the DMV knows that. I say this from personal experience in applying for tags and licenses in two different states over a number of years. I knew I was in for a long day when I got to the DMV and had to stand in line for 45 minutes. I took someone along and had them stand in life for me so I could sit down. Then I learned that I could not renew a tag and was forced to take another application, go back to the doctor’s office, and have another form signed and stand in line again. The process certainly does not take into account that the individual doing all the standing is disabled.
Second, no DMV ever does any kind of check to verify any doctor’s signature. None. If I scribble, I can make a pretty impressive doctor’s signature. When forgery is not my forte, most places accept signatures of Nurse Practitioners, Physicians Assistants, or a Physical Therapist. The individuals involved at the DMV don’t know who is who and they don’t seem to take it seriously either.
Doctors not having a personal gain for signing a blank form is an assurance? My doctor would most likely do anything I asked him to do as long as it didn’t directly cost him any money. To him, this is no different than giving away free samples from his favorite drug company. And, I strongly suspect, the larger the clinic, the greater the likelihood that most doctors signatures are actually performed by office managers anyway.
Third, people don’t borrow other people’s cards? Horse Pucky! What do you think happens to all of the expired tags, or tags that are needed only temporarily? It takes only a black magic marker to put an expired tag back in business. Do you think that a person who borrows grandma’s car with a handicapped license plate on it is NOT going to park in the closest space to the door? Please, just spend one Saturday afternoon out on the Walmart parking lot and then see what you think. Most of us, by now, have accepted the fact that our choices are driving around and around and around until a handicapped spot opens, or… walk.
While I am thinking about it, where do you think a disabled person is going to park when they are driving a rental car and the car at home has the handicapped plates on it?
By the way, I am handicapped. I am not as bad off as some people as I can still walk by myself. I have a big old brace on one leg and I walk with a cane. I keep the cane in the car and make sure I use it when I get out of the car in a handicapped space. It cuts down on the comments and the looks. Sometimes I even make sure that I limp really well. I get by. However, if you wanted to do something to help me, you would insist on enforcing the requirement that the handicapped spaces be the ones that are actually closest to the entrance of the business. At my regular grocery shopping place, I always use able person’s parking simply because they are so much closer to the door. The handicapped spaces are half way across the parking lot They are usually open, by the way, as they are too far from the door to be attractive to anyone.
Now, by way of making a positive comment, we do have a federal law. I think it is called The Americans with Disabilities Act of 1990. If we want to all rally around a common cause, let’s publicize the full law. Let’s see if we can accept this challenge as a National Priority. Let’s insist that our presidential candidates address this issue in public. Let’s make sure that we have methods in place to enforce laws that already exist before we go about tearing one apart by ranting on how ineffective the law is. The element that is missing from this equation is the support for the handicapped and disabled that could be coming from the able bodied citizens. here is no genuine enthusiasm or support for issues of the disabled starting with Congress and working its way down to the average able citizen on the street. We need their support and unless everyone is aware of the Act, and, it is a national priority, and actively and openly full support by officials at every level, you, and your wife, know well how far it will get us…about as far as the handicapped parking spaces out in the middle of the parking lot.
Sincerely,
John W.
Bloomington, Indiana
Hi John,
You have some great points! I would like to share that the myth stated is not that people do not borrow placards. The point was that people should not assume that everyone who does not “look” like they have a disability must have borrowed or stolen a placard.
Yes, there are liars and cheaters as with any paperwork or application process. However, as the article states, we should not assume the person who does not “look” like they have a disability is a liar and cheater.
In all, as the article shares, we should not make a judgment as to how someone looks and jump to the conclusion that they must have borrowed a placard or forged a form. If we have issues with the system or a particular person we know is in violation, we can address it with the appropriate parties.
Thank you for your thoughts!
I HAVE A GRANDSON, NICK, WHO HAS CP (HIS MOTHER, AMY, PASSED THIS ON TO ME. WHEN I READ THIS STORY, IT MADE ME PHYSICALLY SICK TO MY STOMACH. THAT OFFICER NEEDS MORE THAN A REPREMAND…EVEN SENSITIVITY CLASSES WOULDN’T FAZE HIM.
Excellent article/blog Wayne. Keep up the good work. And kudos to Sherri for all she faces every day with humor and grace.
My problem is with people who park in handicapped accessible parking spots without the benefit of a DMV tag. If I see a tag, I always assume a disability for the driver or passenger in the car and a legitimate right to park in the best spot available (regardless of whether the disability is invisible or not). I cannot make that assumption without the benefit of a placard.
Officer should be fired or suspended until completion of a disability class is done and a written appology to the girl.
I agree. Even though I haven’t received my placard, people really do not know we hurt from the inside. Our disease can be horrible and attacking us from our inside. If you have cancer, heart problems, etc. – do we need to carry an xray machine to prove our point? Don’t judge…
During my police career, I savored few things more than issuing the more than $100 fine for a handicapped parking violation. Prosecuting a woman outside Wal-Mart and seizing the handicapped placard issued to her mother, long deceased, is also one career memory that I cherish. For those people the spaces were originally intended for, I know they are a Godsend. My personal opinion though, is that they should be reserved for the truly mobility impaired. Unless someone has panic attacks triggered by being parked far from an entrance, tell me again how exactly their parking near the front door helps? This idea you put forth that the spaces are somehow society’s way of reconciling with those facing adversity is troubling, too. That a paraplegic in a wheelchair van might be circling a parking lot waiting for a wide HP space to open, while the person with panic attacks is occupying one is troubling to me. In an age when amputees are competing in triathlons, the “any disability fits all” approach goes too far. If you think abuse of the system is rare, Google “doctor shopping” and you get over 23 million hits. What family doctor, already signing a DEA prescription pad for a patient’s hard-to-diagnose sore back, is going to withhold that signature from an RMV form placed in front of him during the 15 minute office visit so common today? And if he won’t sign it, the next one will, rather than risk a lawsuit. Lastly, it’s patronizing to limit scrutiny of the issue because some with the placards may be part of a stigmatized group. I would think the truly deserving would want intensive scrutiny of the program. As for the issue not affecting me in the least, I disagree. This is a matter of public policy affecting all of us.